S37E01 – What’s Your Dog’s Name?

This post is an archive from a post I made on Survivor Sucks.


I’ll tell you something, that was one of the best premieres in a while, and we didn’t even have no torch stuffed! Promising season with no hot women around and A FREAKING OCTOPUS! This is David vs Goliath! And here are the first GIFs! Enjoy!

Episode 1 – What’s Your Dog’s Name?

Starting this with CEO Cunt Mami giving zero fucks about the other Tribe

OH MY GOD I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M ON SURVIVOR ***while in a boat, in front of Jeff***

A day in and we got a pregnant lady, or maybe she just needs to take a shit

Why does he always looks like he’s in a porn movie?

When someone doesn’t say “bless you”

When Jeff puts a close friend on the show

Lyrsa sliding into the cowgirl’s DM like

Who wants to be daddy’s sheep?

Life imitates art

Cheers to never winning Survivor EVER

Where are this man’s teeth? I’m calling the police

Pumped screamer cowgirl “YAAAAAAAAAY”

What if the nun got a Jesus baby?

When the sob stories come up

You starting this or what, Jiffy?

A blerd?

Jeff checking that ass

When was the last time we had a true bitch on the show? I like Angelina!

I’m legitimately scared

Rubbin daddy’s leg

They were pretty badass on the challenge

Mike has butthole eyes

Fucking witch

That is one ugly couple, but I guess Jenna and Sebastian will always exist in our memories


If the word “cringe” was a GIF

Wrong season, Pat, wrong season

How disappointing was it when he told his story and it wasn’t about being a serial killer?

Former fatty former fatty former fatty

É na sola da bota, é na palma da mão


A woman got her needs!

This one spent the entire episode crying

I’m a dog I’m a flirt

Yeah, I know.

All that man did in the episode was that fall

Remember that one time they forgot to paint the Immunity Idol?

So is this supposed to be the good looking youngster of this season? No wonder Spillman got fired


I can’t believe they actually made fun of how much he talks

You can hear her scream through the GIF YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY

Lady, your glasses are LOOSE! All the fucking time doing that.

A hair comparison

Kara has a very…distracting mouth

How lame is it when Jeff does this from a boat?

Docta Alison already making women her bitches

The lesbian game is strong this season

When he gives you this look ?

Alec and the machete, a relationship

Mayor of Crytown


What is Mike gonna do when he’s at pre-merge Ponderosa with a black market wi-fi?

Seriously. The mouth.

His dog’s name is Patricia

Apparently the jawdrop comes with the name Alec


Calling all wrestling gods

Goliath vs David

Jonnhy IMPACT has no mercy

Is he acting? I think he came out of a sitcom


Claire Danes in a cowboy hat

The body language though

Poor Davids 🙁 they have the winner on their Tribe

I hope she stays a long time so she can annoy people to death

I don’t think so, Alison


If you say so

That was painful to watch

Ok, ok, OKAY. We will go with just Johnny.

When production calls you behind the cameras, you go to production

Cowgirl does it raw

I will have nightmares

Unluckiest man in the history of this show

I’m loving this

Lyrsa looks like she’s a character from Orange Is The New Black

Carl, The Faller

He’s done with someone

You can’t say he didn’t offer!

Next time on…Survivor: What the hell is a napalm?

That is it for now. Make sure to check it out next week!

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